The kids are back in school, work is in full swing, and your in-laws will unexpectedly be in town this weekend. (Surprise!) While that last part may not be true, you’re likely to be juggling more than ever before, and struggling to keep it all running smoothly and everybody happy—yourself included.
But the reality is there’s only so much you can control. And the more you cling to the idea of the perfect schedule or the perfect client pitch or the perfect family weekend, the more you will find yourself frustrated, run ragged, and let down.
(Trust us, we know.)
That may just be a sign that you need to learn how to let things go. That’s not to say you intentionally drop all of those balls in the air, or stop caring about your kids or your clients or your mother-in-law. Rather, it means you do your very best in any given situation and stop attaching to the outcome.
Non-attachment is an ancient Eastern Buddhist philosophy which teaches that if we learn how to let go—particularly of those people and things and situations over which we have no control (so, all of them)—then we’ll be much happier, more peaceful, and much more productive human beings.
And who doesn’t want that?
Of course, it’s easier said than done.
So many of us cling to an idea of the way things “should” be—whether in our work, our relationships, or a national election—which only causes unnecessary heartache when things inevitably aren’t that way. But it’s actually easier than you might think to find small, everyday ways to learn how to let go and just live.
Here are a few tried-and-tested ways how you can learn to let things go and live better today:
1. Let Yourself Feel It
Anxiety, fear, shame, anticipation. Whatever you're feeling about a certain person or situation, let yourself feel it. Sure, this is a post on how to learn to let things go, but before you can let them go, you really have to feel them—to acknowledge your stress or your worry before acknowledging that said stress or worry is temporary. Don’t make yourself feel bad for feeling how you feel; just feel it and move forward.
Read More: How To Let Go of What You Can’t Control
2. Put Your Thoughts into Words
Writing down your thoughts can be a therapeutic exercise. When your thoughts are trapped in your mind, they can seem more daunting than they really are. Grab a notepad or your Day Designer planner and jot down what's bothering you. You may find that it's easier to digest once it's on paper.
3. Commit to Move On
Make a conscious decision to let go. It's not easy, but it's essential. Holding onto past frustrations, failures or expectations can stifle your future growth. Be willing to say goodbye to those feelings and embrace new experiences.
4. Be Grateful and Accept Things as They Are
When you can remember what you have to be thankful for, you’re far less likely to worry about what could go wrong. By keeping your thoughts gratitude-focused, you’ll train your mind to focus on the positive, even in the midst of situations you can’t control. You’ll be able to focus on the good and learn how to let go of what’s holding you down.
5. Don’t Blame Others
Blaming others only adds to your burden and doesn't solve the issue. Take responsibility for your actions and emotions. Remember, everyone is on their own journey. The path to happiness and peace starts from within.
6. Find Support Through the People Closest to You
You don't have to go it alone. Reach out to friends, family or a professional if you need help letting go. Sometimes, just talking about it can make a world of difference. You'll find that you're not alone and that support is always around the corner.
7. Forgive
Harboring resentment or anger towards others, or yourself, can be a heavy burden to bear. Learning to forgive can feel like lifting a weight off your shoulders. This doesn't mean forgetting or ignoring wrongs done, but choosing to let go of the hold they have over you.
Get Present
Remember what is true and real right here and right now. Is it worth worrying about what happened yesterday? Is it productive to fret about what will happen tomorrow? Whether you meditate, take yoga, or simply stop for a moment and take in your life, center yourself in the present moment and remember that there is nothing you can do about the future and even less you can do about the past … so learn how to let things go and focus on what you can do in the here and now.
Most of all, letting go is about your own state of mind. It’s about understanding what you can and cannot control (and letting go of what you can’t). If you want to live a happy, productive life, it is crucial you learn how to let things go. If you’re constantly worried about what you can’t control, you won’t have the space to allow for what you can: spending your precious time and energy and attention on cultivating the work and relationships and life that you value most.
What do you need to let go of to make space for something better?
Share your experience in the comments below.